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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I remember one time, after a crazy day at the spa, I just sat by the Miño River, listenin’ to the water—like, whispers of life, ya hear? Man—much like "Syndromes and a Century" said, “Life is a long, strange pause... a breath of mystery.” (Yeah, deep, right?) I’d catch myself wonderin’ how time can just... float away.

Bermuda residents complete 65-mile pilgrimage hike in Spain